protest

Class Warfare! Nazi Metaphors! Dumb Dumbs!

Lately, I’ve been noticing a large upswing in absurdly low temperatures from windchill, and bizarre accusations from the rich that our country is sliding into class warfare. Both of these things really, really suck to experience, and tend to put a damper on an otherwise alright day. Unfortunately, they’re also becoming so commonplace that we’re getting to the point where we just suck it up and accept them.

The favorite rhetorical device of any person who loves to exaggerate things is to compare any slightly inconvenient situation to something involving Nazis. President Obama is like Hitler! The police in this country are being trained to be Hitler-Bama’s SS! Cable news operates in the same capacity as Goebbel’s propaganda ministry!

Actually, that last one is kind of fair.

I’ve built up a pretty thick skin about this sort of thing, but today, I came across something that just got in among my rankles. I’m almost positive I just blew it with that expression, but I think you know what I meant.

Tom Perkins is a venture capitalist, and from what I can tell, he moonlights as a boob. While I’m not necessarily opposed to the idea of venture capitalists, I am opposed to this:

…I would call attention to the parallels of fascist Nazi Germany to its war on its “one percent,” namely its Jews, to the progressive war on the American one percent, namely the “rich.”

This kind of misappropriation of the past is just delicious, but this is really just the entree before the dessert of his explanation. Notice I didn’t say “apology.”

When grilled on the matter, Tom insisted that his message was right on, and that his analogy holds because the Jewish community made up 1% of the German population, and everyone’s mad at the richest 1% of our population. Strong point, bro. 1% of the population of Chicago is Filipino, and lord knows we’re constantly teetering on the brink of outlawing Adobo.

I’m sure you’re curious: what exactly prompted ol’ Tommy to come to this conclusion? Did he receive a death threat? Maybe masked intruders broke into his house in the still of the night and imparted a dire warning of things to come?

Nope.

That what prompted his letter was criticism from the San Francisco Chronicle of his ex-wife, the novelist Danielle Steel, for having hedges that were too high.

That’s so perfect. This ass is worth over 8 billion dollars, owns multiple homes, and used to own a boat that was worth two times the Gross National Product of the country of Tuvalu. But, don’t for a minute think that he has it easy.

Some of you may see his response as a little severe, but let me ask you this: do you know what it’s like to be a billionaire? Do you know what it’s like to be a billionaire whose billionaire ex-wife is being criticized for having bushes that are too big? It’s pretty rough stuff.

I would probably feel a little more sympathy for Tom if, after he gave his “explanation,” he didn’t go on to brag that his watch was so expensive it could buy a six-pack of Rolexes.

Let me just give the super rich who want to make a point some advice.  You can’t have it both ways. You can’t make ridiculous statements about how your plight as a super rich person is comparable to that of a Jew in Nazi Germany, then turn around and brag about how your watch is worth more than six watches of a sort of which most of us can’t afford one.

Many of us work all day, every day and still can barely pay our rent. Many are struggling to get by. And then there are billionaires with the kind of free time that they can write a throwaway romance novel called “Sex and the Single Zillionaire,” and pen strongly worded letters about their ex-wife’s shrubbery. I think we all know who is a part of the disenfranchised group.

2 thoughts on “Class Warfare! Nazi Metaphors! Dumb Dumbs!”

    1. Are you aware of the theory that the whole idea of the reptilians is basically just a new version of anti-semitism? A lot of people think that people who complain that “these damn reptiles control the banks and governments” really want to say “these damn Jews…” but can’t get away with it.

      I’m not totally convinced, but interesting to think about.

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