Children, we’ve come down to that point that is always so exciting in the college basketball bracket: the Final Four, or in our case, the Foodstuff Four. Excitement! Food! Bickering!
I know many of you have likely been complaining, “hey Dan, it’s been a long time since you’ve posted some match-ups for the tournament. Kind of a dick move on your part.” You’re not totally wrong, and I’m sorry. I’ve been incredibly busy lately. There have been a lot of shows and a lot of “having a day job.” That combo can really take it out of a man and make it hard to concentrate on Side Dishes.
Honestly, I have to tell you all something. I have been busy, that is true, but there’s a second reason that it took me so long to get to this round, which we will get to right after the jump…
Look at this boring shit.
Now, a more boastful man might argue that this is literally proof that the Selection Committee knocked it out of the park with their seeding of the tournament. He might do that, but I won’t, because I like the crazy shit!
I wanted to see Bean Stuff coming out of the #8 hole and making it all the way to the Foodstuff Four. I wanted to see the noble Mashed Tater take out his popular, much better liked, much cooler brother, Fries. I wanted to see Ron White put a hurting on Chips and Dips (as I’m sure he has before).
But none of those things happened. And here we are. If I didn’t care so much about the Purity Of The Turf, I would just right now throw out an impromptu “Play In To The Championship Round Match” between Fried Pickles and Fried Ravioli. I’m really tempted to do that, just to mix this damn thing up.
There’s no reason to lose heart, we still have two matches and a championship to argue about, and that’s some exciting business.
So, on that note, let’s get to voting. Fries v. Mac and Cheese, and Salad Bar v. Chips and Salsa. And as always, throw some Seasoning on that Reasoning. Let’s do this, people.