Oh my god, children. Can you feel the excitement in the air? I know I can. There’s an electricity in the ether, and I, for one, can barely stand it. Why is this vigor palpitating through me, you ask? Well mostly because I just saved 15% on my car insurance using Geico.com, but also because we are down to the Semi-Finals of the Sandwich Bracket!
It’s been a long road, but we’re here, and it’s time to figure out which Sandwiches are going to be meeting, head to head (or “bread to bread”), for the title of Best Sandwich Ever.
Honestly, this excitement is almost too much to bear, so let’s just get to the match-ups.
Club vs Gobbler
Alright, I’m of two minds about how this is going to go down. On the one hand, I think that the Gobbler is an absolute monster, and that when historians discuss this Bracket, the main topic of conversation is going to be the Gobbler Cinderella Story. In contrast to that, the Club is kind of just lucky to be here, and is thanking whatever version of God it believes in that the Cold Sandwich pool is pretty weak.
On the other hand, I’m beginning to sense what I can only call a Gobbler Backlash starting to take hold in the public. Casual, private conversations I’ve had over the last week have included words like “overrated” and “this has gone a little far.”
My feeling is that the built up love and momentum the Gobbler is currently enjoying will be plenty to carry it over to the Finals, but the real question is does Gobby have the gas to finish this whole thing with a victory? Only time (and your votes) will tell.
Breakfast Sammy vs. Hamburger
I am worried about this match-up. I don’t like anything about it.
For one, the Breakfast Sandwich is my last horse left in this race, and my feelings about it are very strong. I love a real Cheesy Sammy in the morning. Without it, I have a tough time going about my business, which is mostly staring at a computer all day, trying to look busy.
For two, the Burger is an automatic winner. It’s the perennial favorite, and it’s awful hard to see any of these Sandwiches taking it down. The Burger is pretty much everyone’s first favorite Sandwich. In America, we’re taught to basically fetishize the Burger. McDonald’s and their ilk spend millions of dollars on advertising focused on getting children hooked on their wares, to the exclusion of other, better Sandwiches.
It really makes you wonder: how much of our love of the Burger is genuine, and how much is a product of a mass hypnosis/brainwashing campaign disguised as honest advertising? I suspect none of us really want to know the answer to that question.
On the flip side, you know who has never used propaganda and is still beloved? The Breakfast Sandwich. I’m just saying. You’ve gotta make up your own mind on this one.
And there you have it: the Filling 4! Now, it’s up to you to decide the victors. I place the fate of these four Sandwiches in your hands. Choose wisely; no matter how you vote, know that you are making history, and that these results will, as we established earlier, be discussed by Future Historians.
As always, leave some Reasoning for your Seasoning. Voting is open!